Oh, what was this? Was there someone else coming to congratulate the first Hero of this world for his grand conquest? No, that was not the case at all. His visitor was none other than Ishtar, this world's goddess of love, beauty, and so-on. she was the patron goddess of his own city, and one of the most widely-heralded deities in creation. While he was very much against the gods, he still walked the mortal plane, and would thus be expected to participate in customs such as deity worship. Besides, Ishtar was an appealing thing to behold. Perhaps that had to do with his natural preferences, or perhaps it was the influence of her divine authority affecting even him? Well, the answer didn't matter.
Now then, what exactly did she want? She had seen his greatness. Of course, he was officially the greatest man to walk this planet. None could have orchestrated that plan as he did, as even he couldn't have done it completely alone within Huwawa's marked territory blessed by the gods. She would allow him the honor of becoming her husband? To give her his riches? To reach great heights, second only to her? Such useless dribble spewed before his own throne could be met with nothing but a glare, even as the king appraised the goddess' form. After a few moments of silence and the deepest inhale, Gilgamesh opened his mouth and answered 'glorious' Ishtar.
"If I take you in marriage, what gifts can I give in return? What ointments and clothing for your body? I would gladly give you bread and all sorts of food fit for a god. I would give you wine to drink fit for a queen. I would pour out barley to stuff your granary..." His words trailed on, seeming almost as if Gilgamesh thought himself unfit to wed the goddess. He thought no such thing. The gods gave birth to him in this world, but he was so far beyond them. They were corrupt at their core, becoming worse over time. Mankind ill needed their interventions, or even their influence─ and no man deserved what he knew Ishtar to do with her lovers. "But as for making you my wife─ that I will not. How would it go with me? Your lovers have found you like a brazier which smolders in the cold, a backdoor which keeps out neither squall of wind nor storm, a castle which crushes the garrison, pitch that blackens the bearer, a water-skin that chafes the carrier, a stone which falls from the parapet, a battering-ram turned back from the enemy, a sandal that trips the wearer."
Crimson eyes that had no place in mortal skulls were lidded shut as he spoke. The king sighed. He was long-winded already, but not nearly done. What more was there to say about Ishtar's escapades in the thing she called 'love'? Much, much more. "Which of your lovers did you ever love forever? What shepherd of yours has pleased you for all time?" he asked, all in rhetoric. "Listen to me while I tell the tale of your lovers. There was Tammuz, the lover of your youth. For him you decreed wailing, year after year. You loved the many-colored roller, but still you struck and broke his wing; now in the grove he sits and cries, 'kappi, kappi, my wing, my wing.' You have loved the lion tremendous in strength: seven pits you dug for him, and seven. You have loved the stallion magnificent in battle, and for him you decreed whip and spur and a thong, to gallop seven leagues by force and to muddy the water before he drinks; and for his mother Silili lamentations. You have loved the shepherd of the flock; he made meal-cake for you day after day, he killed kids for your sake. You struck and turned him into a wolf; now his own herd-boys chase him away, his own hounds worry his flanks. And did you not love Ishullanu, the gardener of your father's palm-grove? He brought you baskets filled with dates without end; every day he loaded your table. Then you turned your eyes on him and said, 'Dearest Ishullanu, come here to me, let us enjoy your manhood, come forward and take me, I am yours.' Ishallu answered, 'What are you asking from me? My mother has baked and I have eaten; why should I come to such as you for food that is tainted and rotten? For when was a screen of rushes sufficient protection from frosts?' But when you had heard his answer, you struck him. He was changed to a blind mole deep in the earth, one whose desire is always beyond his reach."
One clause remained─ just one. After all his rambling, Gilgamesh opened those piercing optics of his, offering a single curiosity. "And if you and I should be lovers, should not I be served in the same fashion as all these others whom you loved once?"