As they rode along, Nerys remained at the side of Kolin. She'd made the choice and at every turn she wondered if it was the right one. Her mind was repeatedly drawn back to the glowing intention in Merlyn's eyes when that woman had spoken. 'Sometimes living is worse than death...' a scoff. Surely, nothing that could happen between now and death could be considered worse than dying. There was little to be feared as long as one's life was intact. Such was the logic of a coward. Still there were few things she could do. Kolin, remained lying down clutching her side. Though the outer shell that was her body had been fixed, what was going on with it internally was far from ideal. In fact... Nerys looked to the knight known as Lot and sighed. Before instead speaking to Kolin, softly so as not to be overheard. "Do you wish them to know the truth of this?" she asked which only made Kolin scoff as she stared up at her. "Of fucking course you shouldn't tell them anything. Nerys you are absolutely useless..." she hissed, but it was just as low as Nerys' speech had been. Of course, Nerys sighed. This woman truly didn't know when to quit. She managed to be venomous literally to the person who was prolonging her existence. Most in her position would have been setting their affairs in order. She should have been freeing and comforting her Knights, not roaming towards some ship looking for crossing to the other side of the desert.
'Of course, this stupid bitch is blaming me. Literally, her entire body shattered and the only thing holding her together is spite. I put her body back as best as I could, but I can't fix the damage since it reached all the way to her fault in her diamond form,' thought Nerys. She considered all of this world she'd seen so far. She knew one thing as certainty. Nothing was going to save Kolin from breaking apart. She was bleeding internally, so much so that dark bruising covered much of her abdomen even after healing. In fact, it was so extensive that she barely imagined the woman wouldn't just die of an internal hemorrhage soon. "She is in the best condition she can be, Lot. That is all..." and indeed that would be all Nerys said. Kolin sat up, practically groaning, nothing was well. She reached up and moved her hair about, putting on her bravest face. Even so, she could feel herself bubbling within. She had to do something she had to begin to change ah, but she couldn't do just that huh? There were too many conditions at play for her to change now. She had to start this negotiation with the face she currently had. She needed to subdue this captain and then take the time necessary to change herself before this death became something too real. She could take that step and change faces, but... to do so now would lose her everything she'd already gained, and reveal too many secrets to the people she was around. She needed them to believe this was something she alone was capable of, so that they didn't get any dumb ideas about changing themselves and running off. They belonged to her, until she got rid of them after all. "All is well Lot. We can make haste and get across this godforsaken desert and make our way to my real seat of power."